5 Things I Learned Through Divorce
Divorce is an undeniably traumatic experience for everyone involved. No one gets married thinking that divorce is right around the corner, waiting to pounce on a married happily ever after.
Going through a divorce takes an enormous toll on a person. You feel lost, frustrated, angry, vengeful, and a plethora of other feelings.
As painful as the whole experience is, the pain of divorce unravels in the form of valuable lessons that you never thought you needed to learn. This brings me to the five lessons I learned through my divorce and the pain of ending a marriage.
To Find Yourself, You Have to Lose Yourself
The aftermath of any divorce leaves you scrambling to put things together. You lose your sense of safety, security, confidence, and trust.
You completely lose yourself. But gradually, you find yourself.
Divorce allows you to get your identity back that you lost during your marriage and find yourself again. It tells you things about yourself that you had forgotten or never even knew in the first place.
Recovery Takes Time
Divorce puts you in a vulnerable spot, both emotionally and financially. Going through the motions and finally finding your place in life after a divorce can be a long road.
Emotional stress is every day after ending a marriage, and it is okay to feel broken. What matters is to not give up on yourself in such an emotionally taxing period of your life.
Give yourself the time to heal. Seek help and do things for you and only you.
Divorce Doesn’t Define You.
A failed marriage is not equal to a failed life.
Just because you got divorced does not mean that you are undesirable or a failure. If anything, it shows you dared to do the right thing, even though it wasn’t the easiest choice in the world to make.
The Only Person Walking in Your Shoes is You
The aftermath of a divorce is going to bring in some well-intentioned, albeit unsolicited, advice from the people who love and care about you.
However, the truth is, you are the only person who is going through it. While it is okay to seek out the opinions of those you value, realize that they can’t walk in your shoes. So, have faith in yourself, first and foremost.
Divorce Can Be Empowering
Divorce is not the end; It is the beginning of a new chapter in your life.
Before my divorce of seventeen years, ending my marriage would have been the most terrifying thing that could have happened to me. But then divorce did happen; I’ve worked through it and survived.
Divorce empowered me and made me understand that my fears are unfounded. It made me realize that whatever obstacle life throws at me, I will find a way out of it.
